The Chronicles of Phone Etiquette: A Satirical Symphony

Ah, the joys of unexpected phone calls – a delightful opportunity for impromptu social interactions, or so one might hope. Allow me to regale you with a recent escapade of mine, a satirical saga if you will, featuring yours truly and an eager phone caller.

Me: decides to finally answer a random phone caller

Caller: (enthusiastically) “Hey, I am [NAME REDACTED], and I see that you are the Solution Architect at The Job Factory. Do you have time to talk about how I can be utilized as an analyst?”

Me: (with a hint of amusement) “Hey, I appreciate it, however, I don’t have any authority on hiring people. Thanks and…”

Caller: (undeterred) “Oh, well, I am very well experienced in the following…”

Me: (maintaining composure) “That is just wonderful, and I hear. However, again, I do not have the authority to do any hiring.”

Caller: (persisting) “Hmmm, sounds like you aren’t the one to talk to then.”

Me: (suppressing a chuckle) “I’m happy that you’re finally getting it.”

Caller: (optimistically) “Can you put me in touch with your manager then?”

Me: (internally facepalming) “Well, I’m not comfortable giving out their info, especially since we do not have any openings on our team at the moment.”

Caller: (undeterred) “Okay, okay… just like an email or a phone number?”

Me: (mentally sighing) “(shooting myself in the head multiple times)”

Caller: (oblivious to the sarcasm) “Okay, so their number is…”

Me: (amused resignation) “(gurgles of blood)”

Caller: (puzzled) “I didn’t get that, the area code is?”

Ah, the joys of miscommunication and persistence in the face of futility. One can only marvel at the resilience of some souls in their quest for employment. Until the next unexpected phone call, adieu!

Note: No Solution Architects were harmed in the making of this satirical encounter.